Until we are able to heal this painfully unsatisfying situation by reconnecting the heart to the genitals through the third chakra which is our power center we are unable to actually make love.
In society, the problem is two-fold as women are shamed heavily for being too sexual and/or for desiring sexual exploration. Meanwhile, men are heavily shamed for being too emotional, or feeling their emotions deeply.
A woman who dares explore her sexuality, either consciously or unconsciously, may be the subject of shaming amongst those who know her. “There goes Carly again with a new boyfriend, how many is that so far this year?” “Watch out for Janet she’s a real slut” or even by total strangers, “OMG did you see what that woman is wearing? Has she no shame?”
And to a man who makes a sensitive comment.. “OK Suzy, we get it” or ” Ok ma’am, don’t get your panties in a bunch”
This societal shaming can often be the root cause behind women who cannot orgasm. Her  heart is feeling love, and she wants to have a good sexual experience, but she is often not able to feel safe enough in front of her lover because of unconscious fears of slut-shaming and judgment. Meanwhile the man she’s with is often unable or afraid to be overly sensitive because of his own conscious or unconscious fears of being judged as less of a man, so he stays a macho man, pushing forward for sex as the ultimate manly conquest.

A woman can sense when a man’s primary goal is her submission to his penetration,(so he can feel like the macho conquering man) just as a man can tell when a woman’s primary goal is to control him through her acquiescing to sex. (If I have sex with you- you owe me, you must do as I say, support me in ALL ways and never look at another woman again.)

The key to helping a woman orgasm is to honor her heart and make her feel so extremely safe that she trusts you to open sexually and the key to having a man genital Gap is to honor him for being a man and have him trust you so much that you think being a man is a good thing I’m not a necessary evil and that you won’t shame him if he does display extreme sensitivity. It’s okay if she’s a crazy b**** it’s okay if all he has on his mind is sex. Both sexes are shamed for being in both their heart chakra highly emotional in the root or second chakra highly sexual women are shamed more heavily for being sexual and men are shamed more heavily for being emotional so men Retreat to their sexuality women retreat to their heart to resolve this you honor a man for his sexuality and a woman for her heart.
there are physical exercises one can do on one’s own to physically and metaphysically resolve the pathway between the he art and the genitals. the best exercise I have come across for this is sat kriya. Our third chakra power Center is our Naval Center and sat kriya absolutely addresses this.
sat krya is said to bring the lower energy centers, survival sexuality power up through our bodies and into the higher, throat third eye crown. the heart is the bridge between the lower early and upper heavenly energy centers. we can assist in this with visualization, touch, intention, and by using our pelvic floor power, (seat of the soul?)to pump that energy upwards. often sounding the tone ahhhhhh can physically help all the sphincters in the human body to relax, allowing the energy to flow through the body unconstrained.